Electrics and me

Oops!

Had an electrical mis-hap this evening.

A bit of a big one, though not enough of a one to adjust my hair do!

(Nobody was hurt in the production of this mis-hap, though it has to be said that this fact remains nothing short of a miracle.)

So, I needed to get a new dimmer switch for Charlie's room, and decided I'd have a go at fixing it up myself. No problem. Put wires in the new one, in the same pattern as they are in the old one. I'm my mother's daughter, I can do this shit.

Only it didn't work.

You boy's may scoff and say 'Women, know your limits!', but I followed all the instructions, and even had the good sense to turn off the mains power.

But for some reason, no joy.

'Sod it', I thought.

My nephew is training to be an electrician, so I thought I'd leave it and get him over to do the honours. I reasoned, that for safety's sake, it was best that I defer to the superior male brain....ahem!

Anywho, I decided that the best course of action was to just put the old light cover back in place, but without actually connecting the wires; Chadwell could do without a light in his room for one night. And I'd ensured that wires were not touching.

But touching isn't the problem.

Surge BETWEEN wires is though....

My mis-hap began when I forgot to tell him of my tinkerings and he came home and went to switch his bedroom light on....................... BANG!! Loud. Very.

No physical harm done I am so grateful to report, but every light, appliance , heater and cooking facility went out.

Nothing.

Nada.

Nil.

I go to the fuse box (as all modern ladies in the know would) and flick various switches that say 'on' and 'off', but..........

Nothing.

Nada.

Nil.

Bollocks! I've blown something.

Something that probably matters in light of the fact that I have no lights, heat, cooking facilities, and probably worse from a cautionary perspective, no smoke alarm!

So I call out an Emergency Electrics Bastard (at £40 call-out plus £40 per hour or part thereof, I can call him that with impunity. Same with Emergency Washing Machine Bastards and Emergency Squirrels in the Roof Bastards and their ilk), and get told he will be here within 4 hours.

Great. Four is better than twenty-four.

The God's are smiling, in that they send me the EEB in 45 minutes, and he gives me a look that clearly says 'Women, know your limits!', and sets about the task in hand.

Flicks the same switches I have, and turns on lights and everything......

Nothing.

Nada.

Nil.

More expert faffings, and it turns out that I have blown the MAIN fuse to my flat.

Not the main fuse in the domestic box, but the MAIN fuse that feeds this flat, in a block of 48!

Thankfully it is on a board that feeds each individual flat into each domestic fuse box (known in circles as the 'riser'), otherwise I would have blown the whole block on this side!!!!! And possibly beyond.

The Queen has the Chinese matey to tea tonight and the castle is lit up beautifully (I can see it from my window) - it could have got ugly! Political even. Like we need it!

The upshot of the whole drama is that the EEB has fitted a temporary 30 amp fuse in place of the one I blew, and will return tomorrow (£40 per hour or part there bastard of, if you don't mind) and fit the 60 amp or so bugger that I need to run my empire.

Electricity is not my friend.